Drama Magnet

Spring is a time of growth and new beginnings. The same can certainly be said about me as well. I have been doing a lot of introspection about myself, my values and the things that are important to me. I have also been looking at the ways I spend my time and how they make me feel. In the end I have decided that I need to focus my energies on more positive things. You see, for so long I have defined myself by how I can help others. I thought my goal on this earth was to help others, and be a good listener, friend, and offer advice as needed. I used to think that that brought me joy and made me feel satisfied and fulfilled.

Lately something has changed though. I have noticed that in trying to help others and be empathetic, I end up taking on much of the feelings and emotions of the people I am trying to help. These feelings stay with me sometimes for days at a time. They also take away from my ability to have fun, be happy and enjoy my own life and family. I am taking steps to try to fix this. I have ended a few friendships over the last few months that were just too drama-filled for me. I seem to be a drama magnet, I attract it like a moth to a flame.

The new me is trying to find other sources of fulfillment and being confident that I am a good person, even if I’m just doing things for myself. It is very hard for me, and makes me feel selfish but I need this right now. I want to enjoy my life and not always be bogged down by negative people or emotions. That is not to say that I will not be there for, or empathize with my friends. I will just pay more attention to how I internalize those feelings and work harder to let them go.

I am hoping that these changes will make me happier, more free and able to enjoy my life. Stay tuned for new developments!