Dear Dishwasher,

Did you know that you are my absolute most favorite appliance? Though you are a little *ahem* older, you still manage to get the job done and for that I am totally grateful. Every time I load or unload you I am reminded that we are now a family, a family of 4. Over the years your usage has increased significantly and you are a true testament to the fact that I am now a Mom. Your racks are mostly filled with plastic plates, plastic utensils, sippy cups and their corresponding lids. We truly are a family with small children as evidenced by your multi-colored contents. I love that with the push of a few buttons (which I now have to check every time I run you, since the girls have found them!) my dirty dishes come out sparkling clean and ready to put away.

I do have a few beefs though, and if you don’t mind, I’d like to talk to you about them. Firstly, why can’t you be there to remind me when I decide to be frugal and purchase powdered soap? The dollar or so that I save is definitely not worth the hassle of a half empty soap dispenser and soap granules on all the cutlery on the left hand side. Why can’t you whisper in my ear about your inability to totally dissolve said powder? From now on its liquid only for your reservoir my friend!

Also, it seems like you are a job that is never done. You either need to be run, loaded or unloaded and apparently you and I share a special bond since I’m the only one that has the privilege of dealing with your contents. Do you insult my husband every time he puts something in you? An electric shock maybe? I KNOW he loads you all wrong, but you need to let go of your controlling tendencies (besides, you know that I will fix it next time I put a dish in).

You have provided enjoyment for my children and they seem to think you a jungle gym to climb, and you have never once complained. Well, except that time you came unhinged from the counter but I mostly blame Anna for that.

Exhibit A:

My dearest dishwasher, thank you for being reliable, dependable and always there for me. I don’t know what I would do without you, alright well I would do all my dishes by hand, but that’s beside the point. Now, if you could just learn to unload yourself that would be great!

Yours truly,

Mar