Brought to you by the Flu...

So being quarantined at home by your physician really sucks. And also provides a lot of time for reflection, introspection and quiet reading. HA! If you believe that then you don’t know me at all!

My thoughts have been scattered and my adrenaline too high and this*, of all things has become a major decision for me. Since the girls went back to school and life got much busier I have not been able to keep up with all my programs. The weekly ones aren’t too bad and I can usually watch them before they are on again. The one that really gets me tho is the Young and the Restless. I’ve been watching since I was put on leave when I was pregnant with Lea. So almost 4.5 hears ago. That’s a really long time!

Some would say too long and to walk away now! lol but I feel like I’ve invested so much in these characters and have been watching them grow and change all that time. I am almost 3 weeks behind (therefore 15 – 1 hr recordings) and yet I can’t bring myself to just let it go and delete them all. A friend suggested I follow it online, or in episode recaps and I know I can watch it On Demand too but it’s just not the same.

This is so lame, I mean that’s hours of my life reclaimed! (or room for potential new shows???)

What to do!

* addiction to the Young and the Restless

Another privy tale

As a parent of two children close in age, I was thrilled at the prospect of cutting our diapering in half. As soon as Lea showed an interest I was on it. Once she set her mind on it (and the prospect of candy! Yay for reward systems!) and after several failed attempts something clicked. When she was ready, she practically trained herself. She had 1 accident while playing outside with a friend, and has wet the bed only once, the first night. Of course I thought this was normal. Silly me.

Along came Anna. My stubborn little girl. I tried to go at her pace but she fought us quite a bit. I figured that she wasn’t ready and gave up. But never underestimate her. A few weeks later I started encouraging her to use the potty or wear her big girl undies. I was going to say that she was having a much harder time of it than Lea but I realize that that is not entirely fair. I cannot compare. She just does her own thing on her own time at her own pace. Ahem. She has had several accidents, the worst of which in a Home Depot with an unprepared and inexperienced Mommy. But, a month later, I think I see the light at the end of the tunnel.

She has now graduated from the little potty to the regular folk toilet. I don’t want to proclaim myself diaper free for fear of jinxing it but I think I am pretty darn close. Pull ups are now worn solely at night and she is waking up more or less dry. She has also woken up during the night to use the facilities (which means I get up to get her out of her crib and take her to said facilities – sounds like fun doesn’t it!) But, she has started preschool and not had any problems. She is napping in her undies and still waking up dry. I think she may possibly be potty trained and diaper free. Diaper free. Ah, I love the sound of that!

Summer recap

Sunshine then rain, then more rain. Rainiest July on record. Park playdates, Backyard bbq’s, camping weekends, Freezies, Swimming with floaties only, baby pools, sprinkler, eating al fresco, painting on the fence (not to be confused with fence painting!), bike riding, hats, sunscreens, summer camp, birthday parties.

I think that about sums it up. In all seriousness tho the summer has been truly wonderful (except for all the rain!). We have made some great memories, shared great moments with friends and just really enjoyed ourselves. It was the first summer that the girls were old enough to go out and do stuff unassisted (like the park) and I made some great new friends that have become like family.

I think the girls have had loads of fun and that they remember it fondly. I have tons of pictures that I will be able to share with them when they are older. Now on to the next phase of our life, kindergarten!

Gluten Free Update: Day 5

After feeling sluggish, bloated and gaining a few lbs (and all it’s frustrating side effects) I decided to resume eating Gluten free. It’s a great time of year to change my diet. Especially since I can easily replace delicious, in season fruit and vegetables for my beloved bread and other wheat products. I knew going into it that the first few days were going to be tricky. I tried to plan for it by making sure that I always had healthy, gluten free snacks on me at all times, just in case. Now that it’s been 5 days, the momentum is rolling and I have noticed some encouraging changes. Mainly an increase in energy, better quality sleep, waking up more refreshed and just a general sense of balance in my body. I know it sounds hokey but it’s the only way I can describe it. I remember last year after following the diet (and I hate using that word!) for several months I felt “light” in a way that I hadn’t, possibly ever.

I know that it will not always be easy, and that I need to get better organized and work on planning my meals. I don’t like eating something different than the rest of my family and that can be avoided by making gluten free meals for everyone. I am sure we can all benefit from cutting out much of the processed, refined foods not to mention the intestinal benefits.

Julie and Julia Movie

The world is a really funny place sometimes.

A few years ago I read this blog called The Julie/Julia Project. I found it towards the end of her experience but I really enjoyed her writing and her humour. Basically she had decided that she was going to spend a year making every single recipe from a Julia Child cookbook. I believe that she began working from the beginning of the book but later mixed it up a little. She had lots of successes and some really funny stories along the way. It was a great blog about discovering food, and what one person was capable of doing. As a novice cook I loved reading her interpretations of French cuisine and also her mishaps. Last I read on her blog, she was in the process of writing a book and hoping to get it published.

Fast forward to last night. I’m sitting on the couch watching What Not To Wear (and btw, I SO need that show!) when I see this trailer for a new movie called Julie and Julia. As I watch the preview I think: “self, this all sounds so very familiar, could it be?” So I pull out the trusty old laptop, do some google-ing and find out that I was correct! Her story has been made into a major motion picture! How cool is that!

I was so excited that something that I found in the early stages could become a movie that will be shown in theaters all around the world. As big as the internet is, it is also a pretty small network.

Congrats to Julie on getting her story published and made into a movie, and alongside Julia Childs own story as well. Fabulous!

Jumping!

One of the first of many interesting facts that I learned about my friend Mireille early on in our friendship is her love of jumping. Now, I’m sure you’re thinking jumping? Really? but, what she meant was jumping on a trampoline. Not a backyard trampoline, not a small round circa 80’s aerobics trampoline (although she does have one of those!) but a full size, competition size trampolines. She is always on the lookout for people to join her to keep the class running and to save money. After talking about it several times, I decided that it was something I would like to try and we decided to go together.

My first reaction upon entering the gym was “Wow, it’s been WAY too long since I had been in a gymnastics club”. I never realized how much I had missed the smell, sounds and sights of a gym. Not since I was a preteen had I spent any time among balance beams, uneven bars and vaults. It was almost like coming home. Then I turned and saw the trampolines. They are much bigger than one would think, and very tall! I was a little nervous to say the least. I wondered what I had gotten myself into and whether or not I would actually be able to do this.

As I first walked on to the tramp, I was surprised at the give and the support that it offered. It took me what seemed like forever to get up the nerve to actually start jumping. In fact, I think I just bounced for a bit, trying to get a feel for it. My first day was spent learning some of the basics and conquering my fear of falling through the trampoline or being bounced off. Once I realized that I could trust the mesh I was able to try new sequences.

I have been 3 or 4 times now and every week I am improving. I am still working on some of the basic moves but last night I decided that it was time to try front flips. I started small, and with a crash mat and by the end of the class I was able to do it alone, unassisted (although spotted!) and was so proud of myself. I was ecstatic and on such a high at having achieved something!

I realize this video is not very flattering and it’s not a perfect flip but I thought I’d share it with you, my faithful blog readers J Enjoy! And THANK YOU! Mireille for introducing me to this awesome sport, and YES! It is an Olympic sport! I love the time I spend jumping with you and am so glad that I have someone to share this new interest with!

My newest Idea

I always get these great ideas, mostly about ways to save time or money. My newest one involve saving money on our hydro (electric) and gas bill. You see, as much as I love my dishwasher, I am debating going the old fashion route for a couple of months to see the impact a change like this will have on our monthly bills. See, I run my dishwasher daily, but I could just as well be doing those same dishes by hand throughout the day. I want to see what kind of savings we would have with this new way of cleaning dishes.

I could be totally crazy and not make it through a month or two but I really want to try. I plan on getting a drying rack very soon and am going to set a date. I will keep you all informed of my progress. I am sure you are all just dying to know the outcome! ;)

Anyone want to place any bets? Have any thoughts?

MISSING: Boy and UPDATE!

Update at bottom!

MISSING


Have you seen this Boy?

Missing for several days, and much searched for. Have looked in all the usual places including some not so usual (laundry baskets, refrigerators, closets, dresser drawers). Boy has a receding hairline, chewed on hands and feet and has very loose joints. Was last seen wearing navy pants, brown knee high boots and purple patterned long sleeve shirt. Recent activities include excessive drinking while on a recent camping trip. See exhibit A.

If you have any information please comment or email. There is NO reward offered however a replacement might be purchased at Wal Mart should his disappearance last much longer.

Exhibit A:

Breaking News!!!!

Boy has been located! He was hiding out behind Lea's desk. Possibly comatose. All seems well and he has already had a bath, courtesy of Lea

Summer Lovin'

Thanks to Grease for the song title. (here's a fun fact about me: I have NEVER seen that movie. Yet. )

What a week it has been! I really don’t want this to turn into a huge list of all the stuff I’ve done, I am just going to jot down my thoughts and I’m sorry if it seems that way!

The last few weeks have been about being busy, busy busy. After I let go of some of the negative people in my life, I was able to open up and finally meet some really awesome people and also to reconnect with some old friends as well. It has been so great to have friends to txt, talk to, have coffee with, email, IM, do kid stuff with and do grown up stuff with. On top of some of my other commitments like the Preschool Spring Fling garage sale the first few weeks of the summer have been jam packed and it’s been truly great! Those of you who share my sense of humor and make the time much more fun are the ones I want to thank!

For the first time ever, the girls love playing outside. My park moms (you know who you are!!!) make that time enjoyable for me as well as the girls. We are like a small army fighting in the war that is the Playground (hummm potential future blog post???) but the sharing of watching, pushing, feeding, wiping nose of, running after etc. makes it so much easier. It also makes for more time for just hanging out and talking to other adults, and one of them usually has coffee or a baked snack. I love our park dates and impromptu lunches and dinners, that you always reply to my txts, and that you understand when during a 30 min phone call, there was maybe 10 minutes of real talk. But I love that that’s ok with you because you too have one, two or 5(ha! Ha!) kids in your charge.

My Online/internet/long distance friends, I know you have suffered in this shift in my time and that you may be feeling a little bit left out. I’m so sorry that you may feel that way. I can play during the day because I know that all of you are only a txt, phone call or email away. You are truly my support system and because of all of you I now feel like I can go out and be myself and it has been awesome! And I have you to thank. You all know that I would move heaven and earth for any one of you if the need arose and I hope you know that I will do my best to keep in touch as much as possible. I miss all of you so much too!!!!

I just want to apologize for all the times I used commas and lists in this post, (and also brackets). I am aware that it is not grammatically perfect, but it's 10:20pm I was out late last night and I spent two hours jumping on a trampoline. BUT I will happily trade my proper punctuation for all the fun I have been having!

Dear Dishwasher,

Did you know that you are my absolute most favorite appliance? Though you are a little *ahem* older, you still manage to get the job done and for that I am totally grateful. Every time I load or unload you I am reminded that we are now a family, a family of 4. Over the years your usage has increased significantly and you are a true testament to the fact that I am now a Mom. Your racks are mostly filled with plastic plates, plastic utensils, sippy cups and their corresponding lids. We truly are a family with small children as evidenced by your multi-colored contents. I love that with the push of a few buttons (which I now have to check every time I run you, since the girls have found them!) my dirty dishes come out sparkling clean and ready to put away.

I do have a few beefs though, and if you don’t mind, I’d like to talk to you about them. Firstly, why can’t you be there to remind me when I decide to be frugal and purchase powdered soap? The dollar or so that I save is definitely not worth the hassle of a half empty soap dispenser and soap granules on all the cutlery on the left hand side. Why can’t you whisper in my ear about your inability to totally dissolve said powder? From now on its liquid only for your reservoir my friend!

Also, it seems like you are a job that is never done. You either need to be run, loaded or unloaded and apparently you and I share a special bond since I’m the only one that has the privilege of dealing with your contents. Do you insult my husband every time he puts something in you? An electric shock maybe? I KNOW he loads you all wrong, but you need to let go of your controlling tendencies (besides, you know that I will fix it next time I put a dish in).

You have provided enjoyment for my children and they seem to think you a jungle gym to climb, and you have never once complained. Well, except that time you came unhinged from the counter but I mostly blame Anna for that.

Exhibit A:

My dearest dishwasher, thank you for being reliable, dependable and always there for me. I don’t know what I would do without you, alright well I would do all my dishes by hand, but that’s beside the point. Now, if you could just learn to unload yourself that would be great!

Yours truly,

Mar

Being a grown up sucks!

We bought our quaint little suburban townhouse almost exactly 5 years ago to the day. Which means that not only do I now own ONE of the bricks on my outside wall, it is also time to renew our mortgage. In April I began to watch the rates, and noticed that they were dropping relatively quickly. Self I said, it’s time to get on board with the new economic trends and so I started applying for a new mortgage.

My existing mortgage is with a small, francophone bank that I used to work for before becoming a permanent stay at home mom. Their rates have never really been competitive but I got a 2% reduction while I was employed by them and at the time that was a great incentive to finance my mortgage there. Not to mention that I knew my personal banker personally (ha ha!) and that I felt that since I was an employee I would get better service than anywhere else.

So, back to this Spring, I applied for two different mortgages online and was accepted for both. One had better rates, more dedicated customer service and repayment options. I decided to go with the “one”. I also called francophone bank to let them know that I was shopping around and to see what they could offer me. It came as no surprise that their rates were nowhere near as good as my first choice lender. It was with relief that I signed the acceptance of the “ones” mortgage commitment. I was guaranteed the best rate between then and June 1^st (my maturity date) and I have been happily watching the rates plummet ever since.

Fast forward to two days ago. I got a call, to head to a lawyers office to prove my identity. The “one” happens to be an online lender and so this was totally normal and expected. When I get there with my proper ID, I am told that the request has been canceled. Odd, I think, but I figure it’s an error somewhere and head home to call the “one”. Turns out that there is some obscure comment on my title registration that does not allow the “one” to take on my mortgage as easily as I had hoped. I found out on the 28^th that my mortgage transfer was not going to occur for June 1^st as planned.

To say that I was frustrated and upset is an understatement. Now I have only two options. Sign with current lender, who I feel has totally screwed me over with their lack of total disclosure at time of signing and be stuck with them for life, or pay a hefty legal fee (that will be rolled into the mortgage amount) to be able to change the title registration and thus have the “one” take over the loan, and get the best posted rates. On matter of principle, I do not like the way I was treated by my current lender and would love to “stick it to them” by taking my business elsewhere but I am not that delusional. They will not even notice my mortgage is missing. BUT on principle alone it is tempting. I must say that it’s also tempting to stay with them and resign and deal with it in another 5 years, but really that doesn’t seem like the best option. The easiest maybe, but definitely not the most efficient or proactive choice.

In the end I think we will decide to go ahead with the lawyers and get it all taken care of now. Hopefully the reduction in the rate will balance out the extra lawyers fees and at least I get to stick it to the other lender. I would love to say that my reaction to all this has been that of a calm and collected grown up but that would be a lie. I have cried, I have yelled, I have been confused and betrayed and in the end I am lost. I hope to make the right decision and while I am conscious of the fact that I should be thankful to even have a roof over my head, I could do without all these problems arising when I make every attempt to be organized and do everything in my power to have everything ready and on time.

Why can’t anything just be easy? Why can't I control everything in the world? Or at the very least in my own world? :)

Drama Magnet

Spring is a time of growth and new beginnings. The same can certainly be said about me as well. I have been doing a lot of introspection about myself, my values and the things that are important to me. I have also been looking at the ways I spend my time and how they make me feel. In the end I have decided that I need to focus my energies on more positive things. You see, for so long I have defined myself by how I can help others. I thought my goal on this earth was to help others, and be a good listener, friend, and offer advice as needed. I used to think that that brought me joy and made me feel satisfied and fulfilled.

Lately something has changed though. I have noticed that in trying to help others and be empathetic, I end up taking on much of the feelings and emotions of the people I am trying to help. These feelings stay with me sometimes for days at a time. They also take away from my ability to have fun, be happy and enjoy my own life and family. I am taking steps to try to fix this. I have ended a few friendships over the last few months that were just too drama-filled for me. I seem to be a drama magnet, I attract it like a moth to a flame.

The new me is trying to find other sources of fulfillment and being confident that I am a good person, even if I’m just doing things for myself. It is very hard for me, and makes me feel selfish but I need this right now. I want to enjoy my life and not always be bogged down by negative people or emotions. That is not to say that I will not be there for, or empathize with my friends. I will just pay more attention to how I internalize those feelings and work harder to let them go.

I am hoping that these changes will make me happier, more free and able to enjoy my life. Stay tuned for new developments!

Oh Blogging, how I've missed thee!

I just want to preface this entry by saying: I know I said that this blog was going to be more about my life and my thoughts, and not solely the family, but this is what I’m living right now. These are my thoughts, so what if they also happen to be about my family! Oh, and apparently I am the queen of run on sentences!

For the first time in a really really long time (like before I had kids), I have baby envy. I can now fully admit that I miss babies. Heck, I’d even venture as far as to say that I miss being pregnant. Part of me is afraid that I will never experience those things again. Part of me is scared to death of the thought of having another baby logistically, financially etc. But my body is betraying me.

I was folding Anna’s laundry the other night and was shocked and surprised to feel saddened that she had grown out of her pants. These sweet brown suedy soft pants with bink bows. They now hang off her butt and look like she’s waiting for a flood. It’s time to put them away. When this happened with Lea I could put them away knowing that someone else was going to wear them soon, that that was not the last time I would see them. And Anna wore them so much! I cannot believe that my baby is growing up, and so quickly. When I looked at the tag on her pants it was no wonder they didn’t fit her anymore (they were 18mth yikes!) she’s wearing mostly 2’s and some of Lea’s 3’s now! Imagine my surprise!

So yes, baby envy, as well as my own daughters growing too quickly. I want to freeze time and keep them little, at least for now. How do you know when to have expand your family or accept that things are perfect just the way they are?

*sigh*