I have always considered myself a morning person. I have no problem waking up early and starting my day (just don’t expect me to stay up past 10pm). One of the things that I have had to learn to accept and deal with when I had the girls was saying goodbye to my peaceful, quiet mornings. Most times I can get them up, changed and fed and then sit down to enjoy my morning coffee while they have breakfast. Today, that wasn’t the case.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I love being a stay at home Mom and I really do cherish the time that I get to spend with the girls but, there are some instances that make it very very hard to not wish that I could be anywhere else on earth. This morning was one of those times. Bee is on night shifts (just finished his first one), which means that most times he is home and in bed before the kids wake up. Normally this isn’t a problem and Lea quietly comes downstairs with me. This morning was totally different. I think there is so much going on right now, preparing for the Holidays, Bees extra shift at work, his going out shopping (for me of course!), the girls’ colds, her teething, the list goes on and on; that it is affecting her behavior. Ever since she was very little she has always favored Daddy. She is the epitome of a “Daddy’s Girl” and no amount of spoiling, or time alone with me will fix that. I have come to accept it (for the most part, but people keep telling me it will change so I’m secretly hoping!) but there are times that it is very trying for me, to not be the one she wants.
This morning Bee was already in bed when Lea woke up. I’m not sure if she heard him walking around or what, but she woke up mere minutes after he came to bed. I went to get her as usual, wishing her good morning and what not, and she threw a fit. I believe her words were “no mommy, daddy!”. She threw herself down in her crib, buried her head and screamed. I calmly explained that Daddy was sleeping, that he had worked all night and that we would see him after lunch, but at this point she was so worked up that it didn’t help. I myself was still half asleep and in no mood to deal with this tantrum first thing in the morning. So, I used some tough love. I told her that if Mommy couldn’t get her out of bed than she could stay there and walked out of her room. This of course set her off even more. I sat on the foot of my bed and listened to her scream and tried to catch my breath. I would like to say that I wasn’t angry and hurt but that would be a lie. (Oh, about this time I heard Anna cry out too. No doubt roused from her peaceful slumber by her screaming sister *sigh*). After calming myself a little, I went back into Lea’s room and tried to talk to her again. At this point she seemed to understand that it was Mommy or nothing and she let me pick her up and bring her downstairs. She was a little upset for about 30 minutes but after having some milk and quiet time, she came around and now is acting totally fine, like nothing had happened.
I wish I could say that I felt the same. I know that she loves and misses her Daddy, I know that as a stay at home mom I am good old reliable Mom, always around, but it hurts to know that she doesn’t want me. Especially first thing in the morning when she’s been asleep all night. I hope that this is just a phase but I must admit that it’s one of the harder parts of raising a toddler, at least for me.
1 comment:
We've talked about this numerous times and I still can't completely understand it...I know it must be so frustrating for you though. I certainly hope it's a phase, but it has already lasted longer than I know you want it to. Hang in there, you know she loves you! *wink*
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